10 Points From IT-Chapter One That Might Make You Go, What The …..?

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It-Chapter 2 has come out in theatres. Although it has it, critics, the movie is great, funny and scary. I’m not going to go into details in this post, but I will, however, look into certain aspects of the first movie, It-Chapter 1. However, instead of diving into a deep movie review, I’m going to take a different approach.

For this post, I’m going to point out certain details of the movie that are a little on the weird side. The movie was overall very good and scary, but it had its moments that left me wondering, what the fuck?

This review is intended for humorous effect. All opinions don’t necessarily reflect the actual views of the writer.

1. NOT SO MUCH AN IT.

Why do they call the clown an It when it clearly isn’t really an It?  The clown even has a name, Pennywise! Just because it morphs into everything the children are terrified of doesn’t mean it can’t have a name. Pennywise even has a gender, male! Geeze.

2. SEWER DWELLER

Why does Pennywise have to live in the sewer?  Was it the first place Stephen King saw when deciding where this clown would reside?  Is it more convenient for him to take a piss?  He’s capable of hiding in every location in Derry, so why does he love the dank, dingy sewer the most?  Weird.

3. MR. LAZY EYES

It’s hard for me to take the clown seriously when I can’t figure out which direction I’m looking at. If he were looking dead straight at me then I would start getting nervous. It seems like there’s always something else. What is it?  Is it another kind?  Is he keeping watch over himself?  Its it a naked girl, or guy?  Hmmm…

4. OUT-OF-PLACE COMEDIC AFFECT

If this is supposed to be a horror movie, why is there a comedy thrown in?  I understand that some horror movies have comedy in them, like Tremors, but this movie makes it awkward. Whenever I start getting anxious for what is about to happen next, I’m thrown a curve ball. I either get a dirty, witty comeback from Richie or an overactive warning from the hypochondriac Eddie. There’s stuff that happens in the background when serious plot details are taking place, and Georgie, when he smacks his head into a roadblock sign, is clearly off-putting. Am I supposed to laugh when he gets his arm ripped off?

5. TIGHTY WHITEY BOYS

I’m sure I’m not the only one that found this scene slightly disturbing. I had to check my windows to make sure no cops were watching me. How could they film a scene with minors in their underwear?  Even Pennywise doesn’t show up here. He might be a killer clown, but he’s no pervert.

6. THE CLEANUP SONG

What better way to teach children responsibilities than to clean up invisible blood caused by a kid-eating clown?  The children come together and clean up the blood in Beverly’s bathroom. This seems like it should have been a deleted scene. With the catchy music it reminds me of the Scrubbing Day song in The New Adventures of Pippi Longstocking.

7. TEENAGE SOAP OPERAS

Ben likes Beverly but Beverly likes Stuttering Bill. Bill thinks Bev is attractive but doesn’t think he has a shot like Ben thinks. Ben tries to impress Bev but is really impressed by Bill who is purposefully not trying to impress Bev. Ben gets jealous of Bill and Bev’s interest in each other, and in the end, Bill makes the first move on Bev. Is this IT-Chapter 1, or Days of Our Lives?

8. DEMONIC MONA LISA

Stanley hates the self-portrait of a woman in the office of the synagogue-and he has every right to! Who the Hell would keep such a fucked up painting of a demonic woman who looks like the Mona Lisa with a severe case of scoliosis?  No wonder poor Stanley has issues.

9. PARENTAL GUIDANCE NEGLECTED

Why are all the children’s parents such as assholes?  Is it not enough that they have a killer clown after them that they have to put up with their parent’s bullshit too?  It’s either Beverly’s father intimidating her to be little again or Eddie’s mother wanting him sheltered from the rest of the world. We never see Ben or Stanley’s parents, and maybe that’s a good thing.

10. PERFECT OPPORTUNITIES

Pennywise might be the scariest clown ever, but he doesn’t seem very smart. He had a hundred chances to kill the seven children. When Eddie crosses the house on Neibolt, Pennywise had the perfect opportunity to eat him. The same was with Beverly in the bathroom, and Stanley in the office of the synagogue. What was he waiting on?  What made the kids of the Losers Club special from the others?  No wonder they weren’t scared of him at the end; you poke at a sleeping bear enough times eventually it’s gonna wake up and rip your face off.